How to meditate

Please note that this is just one technique of many (such as this one, this one and this one), taught to me by my dear friend Ruth. You can probably find many more on the Internet and many organisations offer retreats and day-classes that teach various methods.

It is best to do it every day, and preferably in the morning, though anything is better than nothing. I sometimes don't do it for weeks. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for it if you miss it for a while. Remember that it is always there when you want to do it.

Instructions:

1. Relaxation Step

Find a time and place where you will not be disturbed for as long as you intend to meditate (recommend 10-30 minutes). It is best to aim for a time of day when you are not too tired as the mind may be more dreamy and will wander more. Sit in a cross-legged (lotus) position, using a cushion if necessary, and keeping a straight spine. Place your hands on your knees, palms up or clasp them together with thumbs touching. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, from the diaphragm, so that both your stomach and chest rise and fall together. Move your awareness through your body slowly, feeling the tension in each body part or muscle and letting it go as you relax. Each 'in' breath is a breath of relaxation; each 'out' breath expels tension, stress, worry, negative energy etc. Keep going until you have relaxed as much as possible.

2. 'Counting After' Step

Open your eyes and look at a bare wall, or a space on the floor in front of you, or something which is unlikely to divert your attention, and not a mirror. Breathe in, and out, in a slow but preferably uncontrolled manner - I often find it hard to let my breathing go back onto autopilot so it's ok if you can't. Try to feel and be entirely conscious of every part of your breathing, the expansion of the diaphragm and lungs, the movement of the air up the windpipe and out the nostrils, the sound of your breathing etc. I find it helps to visualise your entire body and mind filling up with the nothingness of the transparent air you are breathing in, and to imagine your thoughts blown out with your exhale.

Count towards 10 and back again (and back again if you want!), counting once after each 'out' breath. If thoughts enter your mind, accept them, let them go and don't beat yourself up about having them - even though the idea is really to clear your head. It helps to remember that the mind is like a monkey which swings from tree to tree. Start to realise that your mind can think things of its own accord, but that doesn't have to make you feel any particular way (this step is very liberating once it becomes part of your conscious life).

If you really have trouble keeping your attention on the breath, repeat the word 'OM' or 'AUM' to yourself slowly in your head as you breathe. Do this step for as long as feels right, before moving on to...

3. 'Counting Before' Step

After a time, repeat as step two but count just before each 'in' breath (a very subtle difference!). As before, accept all thoughts that may come before kindly and gently bringing your attention back to your breathing. Some thoughts will fight to stay in your mind, and you may think you'll forget them if you don't do something about them now. Just let them go: if you pay attention you'll notice that in day to day life your thoughts are always telling you how important they are and demanding your immediate attention - most don't require it. Again, do this for as long as feels comfortable.

4. 'No Counting' Step

Now continue as before, breathing, and just being. Do not count your breaths and try to remain in the stillness and emptiness. Do this for as long as feels comfortable.

5. Lotus Step

Now close your eyes, and imagine a white lotus flower in your heart which is shining brilliant light through your entire body and outwards to everyone and everything around you. Keep this in your mind as you breathe and say a prayer for something you'd like to happen. The whole gist of this practice is to free oneself from striving too much, and learn to accept what is, and the things we cannot change. Keep that in mind as you pray. Now see the lotus flower dissolve into your body, and your whole body continuing to shine with brilliant light. Open your eyes.